What it means to be an anxious
What it means to be an anxious mom will be different for everyone. This is what it means to be an anxious mom from my perspective. These are the feelings and emotions I deal with regularly. Many of them are far less less now that I have medication, but they all still exist to some degree.
Being an anxious mom means I can literally find something to obsess over and worry about at any given time. While something might make others worry for a little bit, I could latch onto something for weeks or months if I don’t find resolution. You know how kids can obsess over a lump in their socks? That’s me, except not with socks. And, then I will feel anxious, and worry because I can’t “let go, and give it to God” when I want to so badly.
Being an anxious mom means I don’t sleep. I mean, I literally do not sleep. I go over every little thing I need to worry about over, and over again. It’s exhausting. When I finally do fall asleep, I will often dream about things I am anxious about. This is one thing that has really lessened with medication. The thing is though, I am a real person with real things to be anxious about. Things that would make a “normal person” anxious make me extremely anxious.
Being an anxious mom means there are times I am so overwhelmed, I just put everything off. The bonus to being high functioning is I will eventually get it done, but there’s a reason people call me the Queen of procrastination.
Being an anxious mom means while I am having an ordinary conversation with you, I may very well be repeating over and over in my head that particular day’s issues. (If you’re reading this, and you know me personally, please don’t look at me differently when we are involved in a conversation. This is what I have been like my entire life. I promise my smile, and attitude towards you are totally genuine.)
Being an anxious mom means my poor children have to deal with interrupting my worried thoughts, and upsetting me. They don’t realize I am busy trying to fix a problem in my head, but I am.
Being an anxious mom means it takes a little extra effort on my part to deal with changes to plans made (although sometimes those changes are welcomed).
Being an anxious mom means even if I know it’s not a logical reason to worry or obsess, I just simply cannot stop myself.
Being an anxious mom means I have to work to give myself grace because if I don’t I will really beat myself up when I mess up.
Being an anxious mom (for me) also means that I will work my butt off to control and resolve the things that are in my control to minimize my anxieties. I don’t take “no” for an answer. I guess that’s the one plus to being obsessive about things.
Being an anxious mom doesn’t mean I’m not ever happy, or I’m not a good friend. To all of my friends who read this.. please don’t give up on me. At this point, we all know I don’t need something else to be anxious about. 😉 I’m kidding.. being an anxious mom doesn’t mean I don’t know how to crack a joke!
On a more serious note, if you’re out there struggling with anxiety, and feeling like you’re alone, know this- you’re not alone! There are others out there who are just like you. Some of the strongest people you will ever meet are riddled with anxiety. Did you know that Abraham Lincoln was said to have issues with anxiety? If you’re still feeling alone, or looking for someone to talk to, shoot me a message! I’m happy to listen, even if you just need to vent.
you may also enjoy